vii01

Hello;   I’ve eaten a lot of food in the past two day, but I managed to pull a second run twice as long today. It was successful until half way, I extended the run from my mother’s house to mine, but only managed to run a little less half of the way, I got so carried away trying to run in front of her, I realized she stopped and was about half a mile back. When I finally decided to wait for her, she said her ears had started to hurt and I ran off too fast for her to tell me she wanted to go back home. That didn’t make me feel good Anyway, I ran at least. I see how difficult it is to get in shape in times like these, with the cold outside. You may wish to run anyway but it’s a health issue when the air you breathe burns your lungs, your ears are hurting and your face, hands, and feet are frozen cold.

I presume a gym will come handy, but my economic stability with no job it’s really kicking in strong.The good thing, is that we watched the X-men Wolverine movie yesterday with Hugh Jackman, and he’s a very inspiring figure, I heard he was determined to a very strict diet for the movie only, which included getting up to two times during the night to consume protein products, raw eggs in the morning, some heavy weight lifting in the afternoon, and the cardio at night….isn’t that inspiring?

Gosh, don’t I have something, GOOD to say? lol. I’m sorry I am so frustrated, I still have a lot of school work to catch up to, specially my computer class that I been slacking off, I hope I still get a chance to get a good grade, I need my GPA to be up if I ever want to get out of my current situation, and I’m only a couple of weeks to make up for my laziness…I hope everyone else is doing okay, I apologize if I don’t comment on other people, I’m not so savvy with computer, I’m slowly starting to get used to buddyslim.

Mood: Tired, Frustrated

Exercise: 4/5 mile walk, and short jog.

Foods:

Breakfast- two organic eggs, two small whole wheat toast, 3 vegetarian nuggets.

Lunch- One churrasco, which is a cut beef tenderloin sandwitch with tomato, mayo, cheese, on oven baked bread.

Liquids- One cup of carrot juice and 3 liters of water.

Vitamins- one night serving.

 Woke up at 6:00 am

Once every 3 months I do the unexpected. For one single day my brain pattern goes berserk and I wake up as early as possible, yes me! the one that is always glued to the bed and loves to sleep until noon, I do the opposite once in every blue moon. I took care of some laundry and put on my running shoes. I took on smoking last week and I felt it as I run. Usually on nicotin free lungs you breath up to 100% it literally feels like a oxygen tank, you inhale air and you feel you are taking all of it, when you smoke, you take only up to 75% of oxygen and your beathing its all over the place.

It takes time, and its saddens me that I took back on the habit. I haven’t run in a while but today I particulary pushed myself to go far (wish I had my chronometer with me) I presume I did about 3 miles maybe a bit more, it took me close to an hour, about 15-20 min of those hours I ran, the other I fast walked. I’ve always been a lousy runner because of my tired old man’s heart (I nicked name it that) but there is definetly room for improvement, I’ve seen myself do it, I still remember when I was heavy on exercising and I managed to beat my mom in running distance! it felt one of those movie moment when someone crosses a finish line! it was awesome.

It’s worth being on the road just to stretch your legs, but God knows it is so hard to get the motivation to start as it is to wake up as early as I just did today. I love early mornings, it is my favorite  time of the day, and ever since I graduated from high school I haven’t been able to see an early morning in over 2 years! that’s a long time….anyway something yucky happened but it was for good, as I was running the bit of sweat I accumulated drip down my forehead with water when I came home and it was so salty, eww! I know its gross! but I must imagine all the sodium sprouting off my skin for good…lol sorry I had to share that…lol

I have to go, I need to run some errands before my hub takes the car to work. He just came to check on me and asked me why I was up so early, its funny. I sneak out on my sports wear, yet he always manages to notice I leave my side of the bed, that’s kind of cute right?

I’m craving carrot juice!

Mood: (Can finally breath) ACTIVE

Hey-

Bad-

• Haven’t been able to exercise (its cold, and I guess I been partially lazy)
• Have consumed coffee
• Have had more sleep than recommended
• Have consumed inappropriate foods

Goods

• Have made changes on eating habits specially mornings, have improved my digestion and consumed all my vitamins
• Today I went to the movie theater and ate a whole bag of grapes lol
• Haven’t drink or smoke in the past 2 weeks.

IT IS SO COLD! I don’t even want to get off the bed, I’m going to do a yoga workout and then off to bed, I been having awful financial problems, and I feel a wave of a depressed like state heading this way, there is a lot of school work I need to get done, that if I manage to absorbed enough heat so I can get some stuff done, bbrrrr its freezing here! I have to stay possitive! the grape stun I pulled out today is really cheering me up! I hope your day has been great for you all!

Love,

Aksel

 Ahoy-

Not much of anything lately, still a little scared to post my eating intakes, I was going to run just now for half an hour, but I’m squeezing 30 min of jogging, when I go pick up my hubby from work. Subtract 10 minutes on car rides between the house, the park and his job and it really isn’t much of a workout. I’m going to do it after I bring him home.  These are my following goals for the rest of this week and next.

Rules #1!

• Sleep regular hours going to sleep before midnight, waking up before 10am.
• Do not eat after 8pm
• Exercise at least 3 days a week (for the first week)
• No more coffee, sweat treats, or too much cheese.

Among other things I been having difficult times trying to quit smoking. I knew like most people that I could possibly not be addicted to cigarettes by all means, but then it hit me I been smoking since I was 15 years old!. (I’m 21 now) and it really is not that I can’t quiet, is just that it has become a habit!, and habits are annoying. I feel like I have something I have to get done and I really don’t know what it is, (its that little cigarette break on my schedule) I’m constantly thinking about it, and more than once I have consider strongly going to buy a pack. It is difficult to quit once you buy a pack, its not like you can smoke one and then throw them away, if I do buy one I’ll be stuck with 20 something cigarettes I would hate to throw out. But I haven’t buy a pack, so that’s a good thing

I been reading some of my old posts and I have to say they are quite encouraging, I see I had a strong wild determination…and I’m sad to say that right now I don’t have that, but I’m taking one day at a time, there is a part of me that wishes to be that way, and although my depression ruins everything I can’t give up, I just can’t. I’ve noticed since I started my diet (food wise) and my pills I been a lot hungrier!

Food Intake

• Breakfast- Banana Milkshake with lactose free milk and a spoonful of acai powder.
• Lunch- A whole bag of shrimp popcorn with ketchup lol (sorry there was nothing else to eat!)
• Snacks- Apple

Where the hell is my water bottle lol! I’m always so thirsty without it!

Love,

Aksel

Hello again; 

For some strange reason all mondays I feel like eating dinner out, lol. I’m actually kind of stress with school work and I see how marvelous it sounds to eat as an excuse not get some work done…I’m still devating, didn’t quiet worked out today because I didn’t have time, I’ll put some snickers and run through the park tomorrow after school, my goal would be to make up to the 5,000 steps.

Well that’s all for today, I guess mondays are my f***up-days. OHHH GEEEZ! PARDON my language! did I mentioned I was stressed? Thanks for the comments on my last post you guys rock!. My hammster is driving me crazy with her wheel running routine, recently I found out Hammster’s run aproximatly 5 miles a day on their wheels! wow! lol and sometimes when I really need to concentrate I take her wheel down for a couple of minutes, so instead she does “the spiderman” she climbs all over the cage upside down, hanging like a professional athlete…show-off.

lol

V

 Hi-

Been doing okay, I did some exercise today and it really help me boost up my mood. I took my vitamins, and prepared lunch for tomorrow for my husband and I. I have a little dilemma, when I try to care too much about what I eat I find myself thinking about food a little too much, does that make any sense? it bothers me a little.

Also today I made a salad and a small portion of potato on the side for me, pasta with home-made sauce and turkey hotdogs for my hubby. Although I had a salad made for myself I couldn’t help noticing how complicated my lunch was compared to him, I was even in doubt that possibly mine (that is a salad) could contain more calories than his!

Anyway, these are my thoughts for today, and my exercise intake;

27 min of jogging,

• 3,199 steps
• 2.5 mi
• 353 kc

Morning (waking up time 9am)

• 500 mg L-Carnitine
• 30 mg Co Q-10
• Magnesium 250 mg
• Flaxseed Oil 1200mg
• Ginkgo Biloba 60mg

Afternoon (12pm to 2pm)

• 500 mg L-Carnitine
• 30 mg Co Q-10
• Flaxseed Oil 1200mg

Night (6pm to 8pm)

• 500 mg L-Carnitine
• 30 mg Co Q-10
• Ginkgo Biloba 60mg

So, what happened, what did I miss besides going back to my old ways?

I’m sitting here in a hotel room with my eyes slightly blinking tired but my mind not wanting to sleep. I’m disappointed, worn out. I have let myself go completely, rid of all exercise and routines I was following and ended up hitting the same number 172lbs. I’m on vacation in CA at the moment, and my concern that sleep deprives me is that big mirror next to the bed. I don’t like mirrors, but it sure gave me a nice slap in the face when we first check-in the hotel.

I must have never seen myself at this longitude in years, resting my torso on a bed, shown from head to toe. My image did not lie to me, and every time I thought my weight gain was not noticeable, the proof was right there, my hair has this awful razored like haircut, its short again, it’s awful. Sometimes my mind stays in the past, thinking that my breast are this size, or that I have pompous love handles…but this image in the mirror, was something else. I looked if not big, unhealthy, and somewhat develop more fat in areas I did not remember I did, like my stomach for example, or my upper back, it was all there yelling back to me…”this is in fact, 172″.

Although we’ve had a wonderful time so far, I’m constantly being pushed on mood swings (even in vacation, figure that one out) I’m also constipated, and feel as if I weight a ton in this chair, I’m exhausted otherwise, wondering what would my life be if I would have stick to my plan when we started a couple of weeks ago. I’ve eaten a lot today, if not for some reason I feel like I have an invisible margin on my head that says “No matter what happens, hungry or not, Breakfast Lunch and Dinner EVERYDAY”. I can’t skip meals, maybe because I contradict myself with two negative forces, the force that wants to eat anyway, by any means, at anytime, and the voice that says don’t skip meals its bad for you, it will stop your metabolism. Two different things, but affecting me to an unconscious level. For me forgetting to eat any of these three feels like is something important I’ve forgotten to do, it hunts me all through the day.

What is there to expect tomorrow? Hopefully I would eat somewhat healthier, I did walk a shit load of miles at Universal Studios today, but that’s not even half of what I should be doing if I would like to get back on track. Right now, I’m so depressed I couldn’t even think of anything that would do me good, but I’ll consider it, because if it doesn’t let me sleep it means a positive change would ease my troubles this very moment…

Thanks for listening,
V

I’m depleted, that’s all I have to say.

V,

Foods-

Brkfast- 1 piece of danish bread, 2 eggs on 2 sides of whole wheat bread.

Lunch-2 pieces of garlic bread with cheese, 1 big plate of spaghetti with vodka sauce.

Dinner- 2 cookies

Exercise-

40 min of dancing, approx. 300 calories burned.

*I’ve learned a couple of things today. First I’m reading another book which focuses on burning fat, cleaning your lymph system which burn fat cells, a good circulation on the lymph depends on; posture, relaxation methods, and regular exercise. It’s pretty interesting, only if I could remember the name of the book…did I also mentioned I’m reading a book to learn to remember things better? (true).

Anyway, in the book as far as I’ve read it says that with a weak diet, when you work out your body crave carbohydrates and sugar, which is kinda of what is happening to me, just read my food intake for today if you are not sure. So that really puts a period to my bad awful carbo-sentences. I do a lot of things that meant to push myself but often find myself destroying it all over again. I work my ass off but then I mess up my diet, I also have a thing with neatness and would love to keep my working space/ room and house CLEAN; I clean the floors take bags and bags of garbage out. Withing a couple of hours, if not the next day ( I sometimes take the whole day to clean) it’s messy again.

Anyway, I guess those two cookies hyped me up, I came home and laid out all my vegetables available on the table and started making these bento boxes kinda of salad plates, they were literally a work of art (wish I could take a picture). So I figure, I often find myself having the phone nearby and calling Dominos because I’m hungry and I don’t feel like cooking for any particular reason, if I cook my meals in advance, then I have something healthy to look forward to with less effort.

That’s all girls and dudes!

Nite

Hey-

Not a good day for food. My learning experience would be, not to go to sleep hungry, then next morning I would feel like eating everything. I skipped breakfast because I woke up too late, I also haven’t been so good with the amino, so I been waking up late…it will settle soon, just have to be strong.

The swimming lessons were amazing! the instructor is so nice, I can’t wait to go there next friday. I feel bad I don’t have a job to work out a membership which is amazing by the way but its a lot of money for a person that doesn’t have a job. I have until the beginning of december to earn 360 bucks for a membership for a whole year, its an amazing deal.

I feel bad sometimes I think I’m a little too selfish, I consume my hubs money constantly, but then again, we are not competing with each other, his expectations are really low, and mine are high, its just our nature, and well, its not like I’m using the money for drugs or……..alcohol???????? a-hem.

Foods

-No Breakfast :-(. a Small Cheese Pizza with pineapple, mushroom and fresh tomatoes (that’s like 1500 calories right there, lol). Dinner-My inlaws morphed piece of meat with onions.

Exercises 

30 min of yourself fitness (lower body) it  hurts!

20 min of Yoga